- Being low of quality.
- A classic song of KISS' Dressed To Kill album
- Me
Today, I just lost it. I snapped. It may have been my favorite schedule at school today, but I lost it. My mind exploded. I'm generally good at bottling up anger and releasing it while singing. The problem is, my anger gauge is like a vial; if it's getting full, I get the urge to go to the basement and listen to records for a while. That empties the vial a little, usually all the way. Today, the vial overflowed. I punched my locker door. At the end of the day, I kicked it so hard that my mirror inside slipped and got caught in the door. (It's a cheap, plastic mirror, so it didn't break.)
I can't take it anymore. I can't take people criticizing me for doing things, then doing it themselves. I can't take the endless 'you're lazy', 'you're fat', 'you should be the mature one' comments. I need someone to talk to about this. Since I figure there at at least two people reading my blog every day, I'll talk to you two people instead. See, I don't want to tell just anyone my problems. I need someone who would understand the deepest workings of my mind. 4 people come to mind: CJ, Bryn, and whoever the heck you people are. CJ's kind of occupied with depression (being treated, she/he's all right now) and her/his gender swap. Bryn's the middle player in CJ's battle with Jay. They both already know I'm insane, so they probably won't take me seriously.
One might ask themselves, "what about parents/guardians?" Judd Nelson would understand me better than them. To my parents, I'm a lazy slacker. I read classic novels or cross-stitch in my spare time. I hate the outdoors. I hate them because it's a teenage phase. Very little of that is true. I dislike Mom because she's never there for me when I need her. I hate Dad because he figuratively shoved me down, then kicked me while I was down.
That's why I've snapped.
That's why I've hit rock bottom.
That's why I'm there to stay.
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