I like Aerosmith. They have catchy tunes, jazzy horns, and a lead singer who seems born to scream. They also have this song that filled me with more self-pity and longing than I already was. That is why they ruined my weekend.
Today started alright. I was forced to go outside for an hour, so I snuck out to one of the places where Angus and I go on our walks to read a kinky Scottish romance novel. (I don't know why, but only the romance novels about Highlanders get to me.) When I got home, I ended up finishing the 400-page novel on the same day I started it.
You'll recall, yesterday I said Dad was hosting a party for the grads at his university. Well, their parents came too. And they all showed up 80 minutes late, and stayed 2 hours longer than originally planned. The whole time, these random strangers were asking me things. At least two asked if I planned to go to the university they were graduating from. (I have no choice, Dad's forcing me to go)
So, as the party's winding down, I get this panic attack. I realize that Dad has been more of a help to these people's futures than mine. I realize that I'm a failure at almost everything in life. Then, coming upstairs, I suddenly think up this chorus of a song I heard in a movie once. I searched it in YouTube, found out it's by Aerosmith, and proceeded to cry my eyes out. Why? Because I'll never have that. For a relationship to work, both people have to work at it. I realize that Angus is a busy guy, and that to keep everything secret, we have to act normal. But it's getting tiresome to have to plan out our dates in the openings of his schedule. Almost every day, I text him, asking him to walk with me. Every time, it's either he can't, or 5 hours of silence, and then he can't. We haven't been dating for a month yet, but the 4 times we went out walking were the only times I can remember being truly happy. It hurts that we have to be so secretive. Even if it's just strangers we pass. No one can know, because when people do, they almost ruin it. (Shelby, you know who you are)
Aerosmith: I Don't Want To Miss A Thing
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