One thing I've learned about Edmonton: don't go there unless you have to or you know how their highways work. It is a crazy place. And the highway organisation kind of sucks.
One thing I learned about myself: I have a very low tolerance of excessive swearing coming from people driving the car I'm sitting in. It creeps me out. It means there's something wrong. Things should never be wrong when one is in a van on an Edmonton highway full of construction that the GPS is unaware of. Due to these facts, I opted for bringing my little ipod on any and all drives on Edmonton highways. I needed something to drown out the quite frequent bursts of rage from the driver. On most occasions, I played David Bowie. Out of all the songs on my ipod, none are sad, so that was a good plus.
So, that covers my driving to and from the West Edmonton Mall. During our time in Edmonton, there was no continental breakfast, so we had to find an outside spot. One of my recurring requests was that we go to IHOP, or the International House Of Pancakes. I had never been to one, nor seen one anywhere outside of a South Park episode. We ended up going to IHOP. For the rest of my life, it's going to be the only breakfast spot I remember from this trip. Particularly because of our waiter, Charles. He is by far the best waiter I have ever had at any restaurant ever. He was friendly, courteous, he gave us Mickey Mouse heads of whipped cream in side bowls in case we wanted extra. Heck, he brought Alan a bowl of lemon wedges because Alan loves lemons. Plus, the food was great. I had never thought cream cheese inside of pancakes was possible, but it was, and it was fantastic.
But, the main highlight of July 10 was our visit to the West Edmonton Mall, the biggest mall in North America. We spent that day shopping and scoping out the indoor water park. They had a store for everything and sometimes two. While we were there, I got Guitar Hero: Aerosmith because I've always wanted to play Guitar Hero, and it can be done without the guitar controller for 10$. My one weakness was the HMV. It's basically a pop-culture store, with the top floor dedicated to music and whatnot. I went in with a mission to find "Hunky Dory" and a Led Zeppelin shirt. I failed on both accounts because, for some reason, they do not exist, or something. I did come out with a David Bowie shirt. It's kind of got the cover of "Low" on it, but he's facing the wrong way and it doesn't say "Low". I even asked a clerk to check the computer to see if "Hunky Dory" could be ordered in. Not even that. They don't have it. On the bottom floor, I came out slightly more victorious; I found the first season of "Knight Rider", the show with the world's coolest car. I don't know cars, but KITT kicks any other car's butt. At the cashier, I noticed the display behind her of a bunch of movies. She said they had been marked down to 7$. THE DISPLAY HAD "LABYRINTH" AND "THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME"!!!!!!!!!!!! You'll pardon my excitement, but I don't have Netflix or any way to see these movies otherwise, as I have always wanted to. (For the rest of the trip, nothing cut up boredom like seeing Bowie's tight pants or Robert Plant's tight pants or David Hasselhoff's tight pants. Just kidding, but I liked the running joke I had going on.) The rest of the day was spent meandering. I cannot stand meandering. It makes my feet hurt and makes me hungry, then I get all cranky and tired and become a total butthole towards anyone and everyone. I lie slightly; I went into a bookstore and no one stopped me from myself. I came out with a book of Bowie interviews and something else I can't remember at the moment.
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